She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
