hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
