Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
