im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize