O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
