Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
