you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
