If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
