Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
