You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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