Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
