So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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