She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
