am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
