I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
