Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
