He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
