grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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