it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
