this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
