i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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