I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
