She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
