I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
