How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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