we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
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