Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
