I'm jealous of your bromance
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
