That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
