Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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