My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
