if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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