the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
