I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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