Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
