I am puke
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
