So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
