playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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