Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
we should paint friendship bongs
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
