Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
