we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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