Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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