she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
