Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
