I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
