Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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