I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize