i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
