That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
P.S. I can't hear my feet
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
