I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
