my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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