So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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