We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
