I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
