My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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