awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
this will be a night to untag.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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