i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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