there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
