why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
