you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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