Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
