i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
